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stephanie
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©//
♥//
I'll fantasize of being manic
And leaving us behind
In your eyes you were the one that tried
♥//
Acceptance is what holds us here
And you my dear are the one I fear tonight
We'll try this one more time
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| GOODBYE |
[ Wednesday,
June 1st - 3:32 am] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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FBTMOF |
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______shechokes
add it.
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| Their destiny was not to die. |
[ Tuesday,
May 24th - 7:53 pm] |
My darling cries apologies
We foresee the mercy
that's been shown my young limbs
Will not go unthanked or unseen
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[ Sunday,
May 22nd - 8:43 pm] |
Good. Super. Great.
I can't wait for summer.
I want to get away from certain people.
Hopefully next year will bring more sunshine in my life.
hannah-i'm glad you were with me this weekend.
Ohh joy. I love eating all the donuts in the morning!
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[ Friday,
May 20th - 6:27 pm] |
Anyone up for Heathers house all weekend???
ME AND HANNAH. OOH OOH US US.
yeah. joy to the world, heather probably has food.
Going camping this weekend.
Going to get chewed up by giant roaches.
Soft, cuddly, yet dangerous deadly bears! [psshyeahright]
Me and Hannah are gonna cuddle and fall asleep together in our tent.
Much love hannah.
Heather is sleeping with the bed bugs.
just kidding my love.
i hope this weekend is good.
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| "Damn, id beat that shit" <-hahha |
[ Wednesday,
May 18th - 10:45 pm] |
Tonight our words are forming boundaries, coercing us into this silhouette of blatant fiction. It wavers. Oh, just then you threw your arms around me effectively inducing Looking Glass derived refractions.
So don’t wait for us. The season’s perfect. Hold on, be still. The shadow’s coming. And we’ll sing, we’ll sing like murderers in choirs. When we shelter these infractions I’m in love. The curvature of prose completes us. There’s no substance in our lungs.
But now this condescending grandeur will seize our rhetorical cries. I’m here my sweet Madeline. And write me off like I’m a child I’ve used up my newness in stride. I’m here my sweet Madeline. Because the infraction in decency accents your perception of what we imply, you fabricate your affections tonight. And your makeshift compassion’s affectively placed when it suits you and their compliments seem to run dry. I’ll be your default tonight. So take my kindness as a weakness; I am benign. But still I’ll hold on. I’ll hold on!
You are the consummate motion of dilated inhibitions. Improve your net worth by negating your constraints. You’re the malevolent rupture in collective progression. I am your sense of achievement. I’m a fallback, I’m your failures, but you are the one I would die for.
--Ilovethissong.
( p.s. )
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[ Wednesday,
May 18th - 5:47 pm] |
um..
no.
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| And I'm not so afraid, lost at sea. you and I; you and me. |
[ Thursday,
May 12th - 5:47 pm] |
I'm not so sure how to start off with this.
I guess it's just because I haven't updated in forever,
and everyone seems like strangers now.
School is almost over.
I'm afraid.
Really afraid.
I have no idea what the summer will bring,
and that scares me.
The thought of losing my boyfriend, friends, or even family.
I don't want to go further into my reason of fright.
Anyone can relate I'm sure.
I have been crying a lot lately.
There is plenty of reasons for my tears.
Don't comment on my actions.
I don't want to hear it.
Looking at everyone who surrounds me, into their deep eyes,
they are all filled with joy.
I don't see one sad face.
Hey, that's okay.
I cannot say I'm depressed.
I'm truly happy with some things going on right now.
I'm glad I have Chase back.
I'm proud of myself that I had strength to forgive him.
I don't care what anyone else thinks, because they have no idea.
So why don't you just shut the fuck up.
I appreciate others caring for me, but it didn't help when you told me that I'm better than him; I can do better; He doesn't deserve me; I knew this would happen; etc.
Seriously, move on.
Just awhile ago, I purchased the Eisley Cd.
They are amazing.
I'm in love with their music.
I pretty much have nothing else to say.
Pointless.
Goodbye.
Oooh, you humor me today.
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| I wasn't prepared... |
[ Sunday,
May 8th - 7:45 pm] |
I apologize for breaking down in front of you.
I shouldn't have acted like such a fool.
I know I'm a sucker for your kisses.
I knew things were going downhill.
I know good things won't last forever.
My tears soaked into your shirt.
I held them in as long as possible.
I'm sorry for your wasted love.
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| i'm a fake. |
[ Tuesday,
April 5th - 2:35 pm] |
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music |
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the used-i'm a fake |
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i don't know what to do anymore
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| I fear that I am just an end |
[ Thursday,
March 17th - 9:06 pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Underoath |
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Hah. So much for Thursday.
I woke up around 6:00, and thought to myself..
"Is there any good reason why I should go to school today?"
Then I said.."Nope"
I went through the list..
-No Homework to really turn in.
-No tests on Thursday.
-No one really wants to see me.
pssh, and then I think of how much time I have to get ready.
I'm not kidding, I actually think this stuff.
If one thing in my whole day messes up, I feel like nothing will be right.
Haha.
Yeah, that's me.
I did kinda want to go to see someone's face..
But that didn't matter.
I just felt like staying home, sleeping, being a bum, and staying away from others.
That is exactly what I did.
Slept in bed, blasting underoath all day.
I guess I had an urge to get up, and get something to drink.
Of course there was a pepsi waiting for me, and a list of chores to do because my mom knew damn well I wasn't really that sick, and stuff.
So she thinks.."if I'm going to let this little trickster stay home, i might as well make her clean."
Uhm, I cleaned. & I'm suppose to get money for this.
I'm deciding to get my hair done.
I have a pretty good idea of what I want...
It will definetely be a major change, and I'm prepared for peoples good/bad comments. I know some people will dislike it, and talk mad crap.
Oh well.
Hopefully I can get it done over spring break???
Ehh, well i got enough energy to walk down to pv, and wait for hannah.
As I was walking through the hallways of pv, the special children were coming out to their buses. I overheard two of them singing "old mc.donald"
I felt so happy for them.
One was going "OLD MC.DONALD HAD A FARM"
and the other would reply saying "E I E I O"
Bless them. :]
Ahhhh, So I visited with Brian & Kenny in the math hallway for a bit.
Cool.
Me, Hannah, Colin & Cameron went to Burger king after school.
Wow, we stayed there for about 2 Hours. NIIIIICE.
It was so freaking awesome to sit there, with two boys, and actually communicate. I mean, when me & hannah are around girls we just sit there, with nothing in common to talk about.
There was just this spark. Haha.
Cameron & Colin are exactly like me and hannah.
It's so great. I already love them.
Hmm...
My sister & my mom I guess talked about me gaining weight.
So I'm getting bigger now.. [fat]
get it?
yeah... that's nice.
O.C. was good tonight.
"STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND"
haha. Reminds me of today when some gangstas were whistling at me and hannah while we were walking home.
I grabbed hannah and pretended she was my girl.
and then hannah grabbed me and flipped them off.
SUPER.
Well I have nothing to really say anymore.
Tomorrow shall be grand. We will see what happens...
Goodnight.
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| i know it's all just a bad dream now.. |
[ Wednesday,
March 16th - 7:00 pm] |
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Aiden |
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Finally deciding to update a bit.
Livejournal is starting to be boring, majorly.
Eh, tomorrows St. Patricks Day.
How fun. I suppose I could put some green on.
School is okay.
Math stinks.
Rebecca sits so far away.
Well three columns to the right and like three desks back.
I made Heather some Dinosaur pjs today in fashion.
Darn, they were so cool. I wanted them. :]
It's crazy how a person will try their hardest just to piss me off, or make me cry. I don't know what he was thinking, but I don't care anymore.
Nothing to do over Spring Break.
I'm going to do some things for myself I think, while I have time.
Going to see Ring 2 soon, friday?
Yeah.
I feel like I talk to myself in here.
haha.
That's great.
Anddddd.... I don't know anymore.
He doesn't even pay much attention to me like he use to.
There isn't much left.
I'm lost.
Goodbye.
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| i'm standing still..standing still. |
[ Wednesday,
March 9th - 9:47 pm] |
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mood |
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 oh yah? |
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as i lay dying |
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alright..that's it.
i sit here for 10 minutes typing so much...
and then it all dissapears. dubya-tee-eff?
i'm not even going to think of typing it all over again.
all i have to say is i had a great day.
plus... mike is so cool. :]
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| i'd do anything.. |
[ Tuesday,
March 8th - 9:20 pm] |
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 yeah.. it hurts. |
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subseven |
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yeah...
today was okay.
started off curious, and worried.
i got tony his box of capri suns finally.
thank you for carrying my book buddy.
uhm... went to peer mediation today with tara, jessica and heather.
that was great. i guess we are all cool now.
i just needed that.
hmm... im starting to hate my hair even more each day.
there was a cute boy in the library today, with ian.
haha. ;)
kenny walked home us with today.
he immediatly went to ian/brians house.
i went to shawns. shawn has a really cute puppy now.
i like his dogs.
saw mark today, along with jesse, paul and brandon.
not too kind. didn't care much for that meeting.
i guess it's good to see mark's face again though.
i love him even though he can be a butthead sometimes...
stealing my phone, reading my text messages, calling kenny..
making me mad... :]
ate a huge good salad today. yum.
i'm starting to get into this homework deal more and more.
i guess i just hate being embarassed when i don't do it,
and i don't want to let down my mom. she won't let me go to any shows, or get any peircings if i'm not good.
i've made a strong decision.
i hope it works out for the best.
hopefully both of us will be happy this way,
even though this isn't how i pictured it in my mind.
i'm starting to like...
well i'm done typing.
i'll update tomorrow.
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| we look so good as we fall... |
[ Monday,
March 7th - 4:07 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 monday... |
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| [ |
music |
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Underoath <333 |
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today was okay.
me and hannah wore our jackets. nice.
uhm, had a science test today.
pretty sure i did bad. oh well.
got my math test back today. got a c.
i suppose that is okay. hah.
we moved seats in english.
it is retarded once again.
i hate that class more than science.
it's hard to stick up for someone who is mean to you, but i still care for him, and don't let the preppie guys talk about him badly, just because he isn't like them, && i like him.
well what can i do? nothing. my words obviously don't have any effect on anyone. no one cares. why do i bother? some people listen to me. thanks.
i'm excited for jett to come.
if he still is? please. :]
my head hurts, if ya know what i mean?
probably not.
underoath=march 31st.
Anyone wanna go with me? aaaaaah.
I really want to go to Taste of Chaos too.
Damnit.
Hanging with Mark tomorrow hopefully.
fun fun. :] I miss that kid like crazy.
hmmm... Saw Austin & Kevin today.
Cool kids.
hopefully hanging with Austin wednesday.
he is...nice.
i love stacy. haha. my little stacizzle.
going to younglife tonight.
i hope it's fun.
might hang out with kyle for the first time.
i guess that could be fun.
i can't wait for my younglife buds though.
i love them so much. :]
dominic= cool.
i hate school though.
people are immature.
and want to do pointless shit,
for no reason. riiight.
well i'm begining to dislike him.
and everything he gave me is fading away.
aahh...
goodbye.
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| I told myself I was over it... |
[ Sunday,
March 6th - 9:26 pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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music |
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breakdance vietnam |
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Ahhh. This week went by fast, but it sucked.
I don't feel like writing much, so I'll just say some things I feel like saying at the moment.
I'm happy for Hannah. :]
I like Rebeccas new hair cut.
I like Hannahs new jackets, and mine as well.
I love Lauren Graves & Heather to Death.
Heather made my weekend so much better.
I owe Tony some capri suns. :]
I didn't do my homework.
I feel really stupid for still liking him.
This music is cool that I'm listening to.
I'm glad I'm talking to Shannon now. She is great.
Taking Back Sunday is amazing.
Megan Sands is sweet/understanding, and I love her.
Justin that works at industrial is soo cool. :]
I love my best friends.
I hate food.
I hate pimples.
I miss Mark.
I saw Paul, Jesse & Brandon. :]
Friday was great hanging with Dustin, Miles and Robert. :]
School makes me cry.
Boys make me cry.
What doesn't make me cry?
The end for now.
See ya.
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| yeah, okay. bring more drama? |
[ Wednesday,
March 2nd - 10:27 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hah. |
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music |
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GCH |
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precious chase, thank you for cheering me up with this song.
i suggest you all read this. :]
here ya go.
( taxi driver )
haha. I love it.
listen to it at purevolume.
If you are interested just ask me.
I freaking love it.
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| i'm sorry it took me soo long. |
[ Sunday,
February 27th - 8:08 pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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| [ |
music |
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taking back sunday |
] |
friday;great.
saturday;stupid.
sunday;okay.
my mom bought me a new spiderman shirt.
my weekends seem to always be the same.
oh well.
i heart my friends.
hannah, heather, lauren, rebecca, allie, dionne, autumn, desi, shawn, jett, and all those other cool kids.
Thanks for just being my friend, and stickin' around.
uhm..
shawn is now my best friend.
besides hannah & heather. :]
mark, darling i love you & miss you.
please stay strong during your hard times.
i'll pray for you.
see yaaaa.
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| today=wonderful |
[ Friday,
February 25th - 11:13 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
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| [ |
music |
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underoath |
] |
hahahaha. stupid.
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sexy_yu's journal
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